April 19, 2019

Election Debates.. A pinch of polls with a hint of Humor..

Politics interests me. Come prime time,  provided my wife and kids don’t have errands for me and provided there isn’t a tearjerker of soap on the telly that interests my better half, I plonk myself on a sofa and am glued to the TV for a better part of two hours.

The past two months , DeMonetisation has kept us all busy, whether MODI is able to usher in a cashless economy is to be seen, but Arnab has ushered himself out of Times Now and his alter ego at NDTV , Barkha Dutt has chosen to do the same.

Cacophony @TimesNow is muted with the departure of Goswamy, but for some who love his style of journalism, the wait is coming to an end, ‘Arnab RETURNS’ on Republic Day with a channel called Republic (what else).

Barkha the liberal face of liberal Media with liberal leanings found the going tough in India and hence has chosen to try her luck with Washington Post . Wrong timing -Trump hates Media especially liberal media that Barkha eulogises and Trump hates American jobs going to foreigners (read.. Barka) , hence expect Barkha to be back in India soon, rejected and ejected by ‘intolerant’ Americans.

With elections around the corner, expect the debates to be lively. The Anchors , the psephologists , the party spokespersons will all be a busy lot.

The Anchors are honing their ‘compare’ skills. The Bhupender’s, the Rajdeep’s, the Zakka’s, the Karen’s and the Razdan’s representing the journalistic elite are sprucing themselves up for election season.

The Pseph’s are busy gathering data and are scouring the election bound states for feedback on the trends emerging.

The Party spokespersons are busy channel hopping. “And we end up channel surfing” ( Wife and kids end-up cursing us ).

The Party spokes persons are a interesting lot. They defend their respective parties with a flourish by deftly skirting and subverting the issue on hand. End of the day, the debates seldom discuss what they set out to discuss.

Congress party has a bevy of them. The loud and brash Sanjay Jha, short on IQ and high on decibel and has the capacity to shout down even Arnab.

The glamorous Priyanka Chaturvedi – her only positive is her Glam quotient, she tries to sound ‘LUYTENish’ but ends up sounding ‘Old Delhi’sh’.

Randeep Surjewala goes by the script, literally reads out what’s been handed down to him. Abhishek & Sibal are rarely on the show nowadays,  but whenever they do appear they end up confusing you, than convincing you , proving that they are excellent advocates & Politicians – a potent combo.

Little said about Trinamool or the AIADMK spokespersons the better. These guys end up singing paeance of Didi or Amma than elucidating their party positions. Anyway their heavily loaded accent makes it difficult to decipher what they wish to convey , you probably would have to enrol for an equivalent of TOEFL.

The triple A’s of AAP, namely Ashutosh, Ashish & Aatishi and the odd man out – Chadda have the toughest job ie., defending their boss –  an Autocrat in the guise of a Democrat (or a wolf in sheep’s clothing) , and his administrative acumen ( or the lack of it).

BJP spokespersons have an easy job, all they have to do is keep pointing out at a legacy of congress mistakes to defend themselves. Sudhanshu, Ravishankar Prasad, Prakash Javedekar, Kohli are an encyclopaedia of Congress misrule and are quick to rebut any charge. That which can’t be rebutted is invariable shouted down.

But, my favourite is the confident, smiling and jovial ‘Sambit Patra’. This man is literally a ‘Akshaya Patra’ of wit & pun . His intuitive & sagacious defence of his party is a treat to watch.

The psephologists make a comeback  after a long sabbatical. The professionalism that they exude and the statistics that they rattle out makes one believe that they are bang on target to predict the outcome. But, since I am not new to their guiles, I don’t get swayed by what they say and the truth is – they are rarely right anyway(very rarely).

In conclusion , nobody knows anything but everyone behaves as if they know everything .
We the viewers who want to understand something end-up understanding nothing.

Debates are a theater of the absurd (rather television of the absurd).


 Picture Credit: YouTube
About Narsimhan OSL 103 Articles
Consultant for Auto-LPG based in Hyderabad. He has interest in current affairs, likes to read a lot and write a bit.
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