April 19, 2019

Go Ahead with Separation Not Kids

Is separation avoidable?

Many laugh at this question but reality is many a times both the spouse take a rigid stand, egos come in between, family and friends give great advice without understanding the consequences.

If at all basic due diligence is done by the near and dear ones and well wishers, then there is no harm in going ahead with filing a separation case.

What happens next? 

Difficult to talk in terms of percentage but majority of the advocates want a long drawn out battle. It makes sense to them. But is it really required? The client need to be patient and not in a mood to take revenge. Advocates use this weakness and the client starts his journey of preparing the draft of the case to be filed. This is the first level of money that is spent.

The client needs to ask thousand questions to the advocate like:

  • How many cases has he fought in the past,
  • What was the outcome of the case,
  • How much time did it take,
  • How big is his team,
  • How many cases he handles at any given point of time.

We ask questions when we buy a home, when we meet doctors for chronic illness, etc. But many a times the client fails to ask these questions to an advocate….out of fear or probably they are not in right state of mind.

How to avoid long drawn out court cases?

Normally the spouse know each other friends. The best way is to somehow manage to speak to each other friends, request them to play arbitrator. At times it works. Friends understand the requirement of the child and help in working out a amicable solution. This is difficult when family members sit and talk.

There are phenomenal cases and judgement from various High Court of India on Custody. Though they are not contradictory but they are based on a certain requirement. Anyone banking on advocate for a suitable judgement based on these cases from the past will be playing with fire for sure.

Friends who are invited to intervene in such matters have an important role to play. Imagine how you outrage about an issue on social media. Once you are part of such an issue to be resolved, you are no less than a judge. Your inputs can play havoc or may create a peaceful environment for the child.

First thing is to avoid this as an individual, if unavoidable then work out a win win situation where in the days hours and minutes of visitation rights are not calculated. A child if not happy with the arrangement will stay with that parent only till such time he / she remains a child. Once grown up it leads to hatred which the concerned may not realize.

Having said that the understanding should be flexible on keeping the child. A father should not be made to visit the child. A father would like to take the child for an outing, for a vacation if the child is slightly grown up. Father should have the freedom to attend open day in schools, etc.

Child should not be made to look like a object on HIRE. 

Kids pick up things fast and whatever possible things can be avoided should be avoided. Have a look:

  • Visitation frequency etc,
  • Maintenance amount in front of child.

Keep these discussion in isolation. It will surely affect the child psychology. The day this happens in a family. The child will stop talking about going to malls, buying toys. He / she will ask difficult questions on separation.

The best way is to work out flexible visiting schedule. Both should be free to keep the child. And get the same documented with a common lawyer and go for mutual consent case in court.

….series continues next week.

Pic Credit: @DeepikaBhardwaj


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