May 24, 2017

Marriage – A Sacred Relationship

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Marriage is sacred. The experience of being married could be divine or it could be frightening. Marriage gives you strength. Your better half compliments your personality and makes you complete. It may also stagnant your growth and make you feel drained. It is important for everyone to figure out the reason for getting married, right time and manner to get married. One must ponder on these three issues before giving the nod for marriage. Here are few tips that will be useful for eligible aspirants who want to get married.

  1. Get married when you are ready for it, not when others want you to get married. Be firm about your decision.In India, as soon as a girl crosses the age of 18 and a boy reaches the age of 21 their parents and relatives begin the search for prospective groom. The search becomes intense with every passing year. Over 75% women become a first-time mother before the age of 25 years. It appears as though getting married is the only objective of their existence. Just get married whether you know each other or not or whether you love each other or not. They believe that everything will become alright after marriage. One must remember that for your parents, siblings, relatives and friends, your marriage is just an event to celebrate and enjoy. They will not come to solve your problems.
  2. Be certain about your reasons for getting married. If you are getting married because you are running out of age and wants to have kids then think again. People believe that as they get older it will become difficult to get a suitable match for them or they carry the syndrome of a biological clock. Marriage is much more than having sex and kids. If this is your reason for getting married then think again.
  3. Keep it simple and sweet. Don’t get into debt.Your marriage is not an occasion to flaunt money. India is still in the grip of dowry system. Families spend millions in their marriages. We recently heard of a marriage that costs over 100 million USD. Marriage is not about money. Marriage is about acceptance, respect, love and understanding. Keep it simple.
  4. A Select place for your honeymoon diligently and carefully. If you search for a word “Honeymoon Video” on any Search Engine, you will get thousands’ of leaked videos. Many hotels and motels are notorious about placing recording camera’s in rooms that they lent out to honeymoon couples. Many times couple try to record their personal moment via mobile camera without knowing the risk of it getting leaked. Be careful. Don’t make your expression of love turn into a horror.
  5. Trust each other. Don’t let any third person (be it your family, parents, relatives or friends) influence your relation. In India, siblings and parents of your spouse and sometimes friends try to interfere and influence your relation. They guide you to do or not to do things. They try to take control of your relation. Don’t let anyone come between you. Take your own decisions. Make your own mistakes and learn. Always remember that every couple has a different story and no two couples are same. Today, trust each other and give your best to the relation, future will take care of itself.
  6. Stand for each other. Protect each other. Avoid arguments and disagreements in public. Do not criticize one another in public. Accept imperfections of each other. People will point out imperfections of each other. People will misinterpret and misrepresent several things. Protect each other and stand together while facing external criticism or disparagement. You might dislike and disagree on few things but don’t show it in public. Your disagreements shall not come out from your bedroom.
  7. Confide and share everything that might affect the present and future of your relation.While I don’t advocate the philosophy of sharing everything with your spouse and sometimes you need to make few decisions. There will be times when you need to keep your personal life different from your profession; however, it is important to share all those events or activities with your spouse that might carry a positive or negative impact on your present or future.
  8. Have kids when you want to have not when others want you to have.Your parents, siblings and relatives might be interested in playing with your kids; however, you need to raise your kids. You need to make certain that your kids get a good education and an environment of safety, learning and growth. Therefore, you must have kids when you want to or when you are prepared not when others want you to have.
  9. Don’t carry forward your arguments and disagreements to next day. Resolve them today before going to sleep. Individuals can have a difference of opinion. Sometimes they do argue and disagree. Don’t carry your remorse for a long period of time. Talk to one another. Explain your point of view and agree to make a conclusion. Silence and assumptions have killed many relations. Communicate often. Speak up your mind. Don’t let the gap between two of you become enlarge that it becomes difficult to reconcile.
  10. Change, if any, let it be slow and natural.Many a time we expect overnight change. We expect spouses to be fully aware of responsibilities from the very first day of marriage.  This is not going to happen. Let your spouse remain the person that you have loved. Don’t change them. Let the change, if required, be natural and slow.
  11. Share your problems; don’t let out your professional or external frustration or irritation on your partner. Sharing your problems or concerns with your spouse is a good idea; however, don’t let out your workplace frustration or failure on your partner. Don’t fight with them if your boss has scolded you in the office or if you have been scolded for something by your superiors. Don’t punish your partner for your professional failure where they have no role to play. Don’t let anything affect your relation. Your spouse is your strength; don’t treat them like a punching bag or a doormat.
  12. Love each other without reason and occasion.Show that you care. Love is not sex. Love is acceptance, understanding, and care. Say, “I Love You” to each other as often as possible. Don’t wait for a reason or an occasion to acknowledge your love. Care for each other and be with each other when it matters the most.

Marriage is a relation which is constructed on the foundation of love, respect, trust and a passion for being with each other for rest of the life. Believe in yourself and believe in your partner. Don’t let the love in your relation die at any stage of your life. In a long run, as you grow old, nothing and no one will matter to you more than your spouse. Being happily married is work-in-progress.

We hope these suggestions will be helpful in strengthening your marriage. Let us if you like us to include something else. Please share your feedback and stories.

About Sanjeev Himachali 12 Articles
Sanjeev is seasoned Human Resources professional with a wealth of experience spanning across Manufacturing, Information Technology and Financial Services Industries. He is an Integral part of the Global HR Leadership Team which works on HR strategy development and deployment plan for all organizational level HR programs. Sanjeev has a well-rounded exposure to Business Operations and Delivery along with focused Human Resources assignments to understand people and people strategy. It Enables being a true Business Partner in deciding People Processes and making informed decisions by leveraging market intelligence. He is a strategic planner with experience in Organization Restructuring, Change Management, Organization Development and Talent Management. Sanjeev is a qualified Career and Performance Coach. Specialties: Change Management, Organization Development, Performance Coaching, Career Coaching, HR Operations, Talent Acquisition, Talent Management, Green-field Legal CGreenfield Operations, Start-up, Learning, and Development, and Compensation and Benefits.