To my friend circle, where I have all sorts of people; married, unmarried, young, and old, I asked a question, “if you fall in love then will you confess it or suppress it”? There were a couple of questions embedded in it. Firstly, to know whether people understand “LOVE” as an emotion; and secondly, whether they are courageous to acknowledge their emotion? While many of them said that they would accept their emotion of love and express it; some stated that they would deny it and suppress it. Thanks to our movies, TV serials and media houses to thoroughly misguide and misrepresent love and romance (including dating). Let me make an attempt to exhibit my understanding of love and romance.
“I Love You” has often been interpreted as an invitation to “I want to sleep with you”? However, to add to the complexity of interpretation, love has further been classified into romantic love, parental love, sibling love, brotherly love, love towards the country, humanity, etc. Oh boy, do you need to do this? “I love you,” as I understand, is a statement, “I accept you the way you are. I respect you. I care for you. I will protect you. And no, matter what the situations will be, I will stand with you”. This interpretation broadly covers every type of love, highlighted above.
When you love the nature, not only you appreciate it but also protect it. You don’t harm nature in any way.
When you love your parents and siblings, you care for them, and you stand with them, and you take out time for them.
Same is true for love between husband and wife as well as between two friends.
One can confess one’s love for anything and anyone that one cares for. No one needs to feel shy or think 100 times before conceding it. All it means is, “I am there for you.” Is there anything wrong in it? When you accept and respect selected aspects of someone, you admire that person. You might consider that individual as your role-model but might not love him/her.
“Intimacy,” also called as sex in loose context, is a physical closeness between two people. To get intimate with someone, it’s nice to have acceptance and love; however, it is not necessary. Thereby, people can get intimate with someone they love and also with ones they don’t love, such as with sex workers, one night stands, casual sex, and rapes, etc.
In the language of movies, “Romance” is also linked with sex. Other variations of romance are – romantic date, romantic dinner, romancing with self and romancing with nature, etc. Romance, to my understanding, is a way of making the other person feel important, unique, and on top of the world. Romance is not about words but the way you make another person “feel” makes all the difference. Romance is to create that feeling. You can romance anyone, irrespective of their age. Even 80 years old, like to feel special, cared and on top of the world. Even they want to be romanced. Imagine, taking an 80-year-old grandmother out for an evening to her favorite restaurant, ordering things of her choice, amidst the music she likes, giving her flowers, and showering her with numerous gifts, etc. Won’t she like it? She will just love it. So, what was that you just did? You romanced with her. Made her feel special and on top of the world.
“Dating” is a precursor to what one can expect in future. Dating is not limited to a male-female relationship, looking for future together but to every such meeting where participants are looking for a future. Every first meeting between an employer and employee, a service provider with a client, prospective friends, is nothing but a date. How? When you are on a date, you give your best shot. You dress well. You prepare well. You give glimpses of what the other person can expect in future. Not all dates are satisfactory and fruitful. Recently, I watched a short movie about a father taking his five-year-old daughter for a date. The daughter dressed like a princess and the father treated her like one. It certainly set a bar about her value and how she must not accept any lower treatment than this from other men she might meet in future.
This note is my understanding of love, romance, and dating. Many people might not agree with it, but that’s alright. When I say, “I love you,” it means “I have accepted you the way you are and will be there for you.” When I romance, I make that person feel like one of the best person in the world.
Do you agree with this interpretation of love and romance? Share your comments.
Pic Credit: Wiki and lifehack.org
Composed By – Sanjeev Himachali Twitter @
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