April 28, 2017

Runaway Groom (Part 2 of 4)

Part 1 Link http://newsnviews.online/news-n-views/runaway-groom-part-1-of-4/

Runaway Groom (Part 2 of 4)

Our previous experience had taught us many things and even though my parents did find some more matches for me and I turned down many of them without going through the embarrassing situation of meeting the girl and then saying no. I was concentrating more on my career which was going through turmoil. After having exhausted most of their contacts, my parents decided to use matrimonial websites and the matrimonial columns of newspapers to find a match for their son. This time, in March 2005, they found a Trainee School Teacher for me who has had completed her Masters in History and was doing her Bachelors of Education. Her name was Niharika Saxena. She was the second of the four children of a Bank Manager. When all this discussion was going on, I was on my annual leave for two weeks. The father and the elder sister of Niharika, Minal came to visit our house.  We met and talked. They enquired about my job, and my responsibilities and all that they could understand and interpret are that I give jobs to people and pay them the salary. They left only after spending three hours in the house and having lunch with us. They were impressed. In India, particularly in North India, being an only son from a well to do family matters a lot. In the evening, Niharika’s father called-up to reconfirm, we had already guessed that they were happy about the match and would like to take it to the next stage. The next stage was a formal engagement. By the way, until that moment I hadn’t seen Niharika, except for her pictures.

Next day Niharika’s father called-up to discuss the date and venue for the engagement. My dad advised them not to organize any big event; so that they could save some money. Date and place were decided for the engagement. The venue was their house. The date was two days before my departure to Hyderabad. And only close family members were invited. Unfortunately, the list of those close family members excluded the name of my sister, who couldn’t make it due to her ill-health. Niharika was expected to come on the day of engagement. It was the last Sunday of March and I got engaged to Niharika. Going by her appearance, Niharika was 5’3 tall with fair complexion, big and beautiful eyes and long black hairs down till her waist. She was looking beautiful. For engagement, she was dressed in a sky-blue colored salwar-kameez. By the time we returned from the function, our entire village was aware of my commitment. In the following week, both our parents consulted an astrologer and fixed 04th December 2005 as our wedding date.

After two days, I returned to Hyderabad. It was the beginning of the courtship period for us. We began to interact on a regular basis. Incidentally, she never called me, and it was only me who used to call her and most of the time she was surrounded by her friends, thereby making it inconvenient for her to be her usual self and converse freely. On the other hand, my elder sister-in-law, Minal was the most frequent caller. She would often call me 2-3 times in a day. After few more weeks, she began to ask me to find a job for her and her husband. As a new would-be son-in-law into the family, I cordially asked her to forward their profiles, so that I could check the suitability. From the day she sent her and her husband’s profile, she started taking daily follow-ups. After another month or so, she suggested me to find myself a job in Bangalore. She gave me the reason and logic for it and said, “Our brother is in 12th grade, and we are planning to get him admitted into BE or B.Tech next year. He wants to learn Computer Science. He has never been to any place outside of Himachal Pradesh; therefore, it ‘d be good if you and Niharika would be there. Your presence will give him emotional and psychological support. South Indian food is not all that good, if you would be there, he can have home-made food.” I was surprised at her suggestion but yet comforted her by saying, “I will look into it and as soon as I get anything suitable, I will consider it.” With this, probably, I gave her second subject, to follow-up on.

Niharika, as I said, was least interested in talking; whether once in a day or twice, it was always me, who would call her up. Even then when I was making efforts to call her and initiate a discussion, she never had anything to ask or to say, a shocking surprise from someone who is about to get married in few months. In the meantime, few management institutes decided to include some of my articles into their reference books as well as publish some of them in monthly and quarterly magazines. This was a big thing for me, and apparently, I shared it with Niharika as well as Minal, but there was no response and no excitement, whatsoever. I thought that because they do not know much about me and my work, therefore, they are not able to empathize, and hence I let it pass. In the meantime, Minal continued to irritate me by following up on the progress of my job search and opportunities and references for her as well as for her husband’s job.  Minal could call me at any time during the day, including my office hours, meeting and traveling hours she would continue to call until her call was answered, sometimes, would receive 10-15 missed calls in a span of 10-15 minutes. All this was giving me stress, and moreover, it was irritating me. I thought if this is the scene now then what will happen after marriage. In this background, in the month of August, I backed-out from the wedding. I told it to Minal and my parents that I could not continue with this relation. People get married to grow in their life but in my relation with Niharika, I felt as though my life was in reverse gear.

The break-off wasn’t as easy as I am putting it down here. However, the life moved on and so did I. Last I heard about Niharika was that she got married to a Software Engineer working with Wipro Technologies in Bangalore in the year 2006.

Your stories, comments, and feedback are invited.


About the Author

Sanjeev Himachali, Pune

anjuSanjeev is seasoned Human Resources professional with a wealth of experience spanning across Manufacturing, Information Technology and Financial Services Industries. He is an Integral part of the Global HR Leadership Team which works on HR strategy development and deployment plan for all organizational level HR programs. Sanjeev has a well-rounded exposure to Business Operations and Delivery along with focused Human Resources assignments to understand people and people strategy. It Enables being a true Business Partner in deciding 

People Processes and making informed decisions by leveraging market intelligence. He is a strategic planner with experience in Organization Restructuring, Change Management, Organization Development and Talent Management. Sanjeev is a qualified Career and Performance Coach.

Specialties: Change Management, Organization Development, Performance Coaching, Career Coaching, HR Operations, Talent Acquisition, Talent Management, Green-field Legal CGreenfield Operations, Start-up, Learning, and Development, and Compensation and Benefits.

Twitter: @Sanjuhimachali

Website/Blogswww.hrtales.com, www.sanjeevhimachali.org, www.thoughtsnwisdom.com

Email sanjeev.himachali@gmail.com


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