The recent participation of JohnDayal(JD) in some debate with Arnab regarding the irrelevance of Luyten’s Club made me wonder if this JD is for real. I wanted to know the reason for his strong views on all things Right. I wanted to know and understand the superior moral conscience of JD and hence I prayed to the millions of gods and got a chance to meet the Imaginary JD and I realized that this imaginary JD is more JDish than the real JD. Inspite of the confusion I decided to make a brief talk with IJD and see what he is up to.
SphereHead: Hello, Sir
JD: You seem to be from the Hindutva brigade threatening all the minorities of this country.
SphereHead: Wow. You seem to possess super human capabilities.
JD: No. If you are not from Hindutva brigade, then you would not have called me Sir but would have said “Hi John”.
SphereHead: Pardon me John.
JD: Shut up. You bigots cannot call me by the first me. You should address me as Sir, if you want to continue the imaginary interview.
SphereHead: Ok, Sir.
JD: See you learn to take the instructions too quickly and that is the reason why we are the masters of the universe.
SphereHead: I now realize how you are so JDish than JD himself and I have realized the secret of your powers.
JD: No. You have not.
SphereHead: Yes, I have. You seem to spend too much time watching cartoon and seem to be cut off from the reality.
JD: You are the people who killed Gandhi.
SphereHead: So what?
JD: You Hindu terrorists killed the Father of the nation who got us freedom.
SphereHead: So, what is your beef or goat meat in this issue? One Hindu killed another Hindu and that too an upper caste Hindu killing another upper caste Hindu and this should not even be a matter of concern for you.
JD: Gandhi belonged to the nation and you have killed the leader of the nation.
SphereHead: Ya. We will kill our own people but your people have come from faraway places and have killed people in lakhs and you have built mansions for such people. What about them JD Sir?
JD: You are terrorists, how can you compare a RSS terrorist and a certified Saint.
SphereHead: If our cow is your food then your saint may be sinner for me. In reality you are all sinners.
JD: You donot dare call me a sinner. My conscience is clear.
SphereHead: So is mine JD sir. What is the reason for your love for Gandhi. You neither follow his ideals nor you give him the respect that we give. At least we tend to follow his ideals to certain extent and you follow those which we donot.
JD: We follow his ideals too.
SphereHead: You follow only his will testing ideals and rest of the things you donot even bother. While we follow most of his other ideals other than testing of his will.
JD: How dare you speak ill of us.
SphereHead: Sorry for doing the plain speak JD sir, but the truth be told because we donot go abroad with begging bowls and speak ill of the nation that has nurtured.
JD: Shut up.
SphereHead: JD sir, this is my place and not Goa where you could torture me for speaking the truth in simple words.
JD: You are all Hindu terrorists and have killed women in the name of sati.
SphereHead: You have witch hunted women, many more in numbers that there were cases of sati in this country. There are more women whom you have raped in the name of confessions than there were cases of sati.
JD: You have rapist babas.
SphereHead: You have paedophile padres and their biggest supporter is sitting in Vatican.
JD: You worship animals and drink cow piss.
SphereHead: You filter the gou muthra and then drink it in the name of chemical cocktail.
JD: You have no saints.
SphereHead: All our saints become so, when they are alive and their miracles are tested for validity unlike the fake ones you certify after death.
JD: You are sinners.
SphereHead: Says who?
JD: Grr Grrr You people kill tribals in the name of Hinduism.
SphereHead: You kill and torture tribals for not converting and for the sake of rice bags. You yourself might have been a rice bag once upon a time.
JD: You are terrorist.
SphereHead: Says the one of the members of the largest criminal enterprise running on the planet.
JD: I will see you in courts.
SphereHead: Lol. I am already dead because it is one place where logic is long lost and only bigotry is the test of constitution.
JD: Now you realize my power.
SphereHead: It is no wonder that you could survive inspite of being a criminal in action and intent.
JD: How dare you call me a criminal.
SphereHead: I did not, I only told the truth. If you have any better truth, then speak so. This is what the courts told and you cannot stop me saying what I wanted to say because it hurts you.
JD: You cannot manage the courts.
SphereHead: Can you? Is it the reason that one Joseph goes and another one comes in utmost urgency.
JD: You are crossing the limits and hence I cannot talk to people like you.
SphereHead: I always welcome another round of talks with you anytime you want.
JD come back and lets have more talks. JD got up angrily and left the I was laughing taunting him calling him JD. For strange reason JD did not want to be called JD but wanted to be called JDsir. The hipocracy of these bigots can be outdone by their own kind some of whom want to be Prime Minister of this country. What to call a fool who is also a bigot?
Picture Credit: Wikipedia