August 16, 2018

SphereHead with Amit Shah

I got stunned when I got an imaginary call from Amit Shah, the President of BJP. Stunned by the imaginary phone call which displayed the caller name as Amit Shah even though I have no TrueCalller App in my phone nor did I save Amit Shah’s number. Suddenly I got realized that all this was a part of my imagination caused due to the split personality common to several Indians. I attended the imaginary call which was very brief. Amit Shah had offered to give me an imaginary exclusive interview and also wanted to know the ground situation about the Core issues. I took an imaginary flight to Delhi and met Amit Shah.

SphereHead: Sorry about your Karnataka Loss.

Amit Shah: No there is no loss in Karnataka. We are still the single largest party with a an increased vote share. We have swept the seats in several areas and overall our performance was good.

SphereHead: Sir, This is my imagination and hence you can be atleast honest here.

Amit Shah: Ya, it was a loss and now people want me to resign. They donot think about the victories I have achieved. I got BJP UP, Tripura and most of the NorthEast. But one Karnataka, and people expect me to resign. I am tired of this nonsense.

SphereHead: You for Bihar. In the past you had last it due to illegitimate alliances and now you have it in your hands.

Amit Shah: Right, that thugbhandan drama gave us some shocks but now we have plans for them.

SphereHead: You lost the Ghorakphur and other by-elections.

Amit Shah: We are looking into the issues and probably it is a case of sabotage which is growing increasingly in every party due to disgruntlement among the cadre.

SphereHead: What is your next plan?

Amit Shah: No plans but to enjoy the vacation till the judges come back. Lol. I was just joking. We are finding it difficult at the lethargy of our local leadership who are resting and relaxing for 5years and in the end hope for Modi magic to fetch them elections. Inspite of modi’s magic some disgruntled members indulge in revenge politics causing more harm in the process.

SphereHead: This is a serious issue, but my allegation is that you were defeated by voters voting NOTA.

Amit Shah: LMAO. Even in our internal surveys only some AAPtards vote for NOTA and no BJP supporter would ever press it because they know the power of their vote. We have won by 36 votes in some cases and every true BJP supporter would think about his vote.

SphereHead: But people blame the NOTA voters and the voters themselves have said that they have voted for NOTA because BJP has not done anything for Hindus.

Amit Shah: The second part is true and we agree to it without any second thoughts, because BJP is a party of difference. if we promise something most likely we are going to do it. Since you have only found that we have not put any of Hindu agenda in the manifesto we might not do the same. But there is a lot of pressure on us to bring in parity of laws among the various sections of the society. We believe in Saab Ka Saath Saab Ka Vikas.

SphereHead: But recently you seem to fight the SC guidelines regarding the SC/ST act  and were planning to bring in an ordinance.

Amit Shah: To say frankly, the judiciary and the Congress have been largely responsible for the mess in the laws that are present in the nation. The English language is such that intelligent interpretations can be made by different people with different ideological backgrounds. The million interpretations have completely messed up the nation and we are facing the full burnt of it.

SphereHead: Why don’t you do something about it?

Amit Shah: We have once called a meeting and tried to make sense with the judiciary but like the intolerant detectors in India, the Judiciary has a mind of its own and does not want to give up the control it gained. So it would be a very long process. First we have to get rid of the Congress Party from the Governance Structures, then the Congress Culture and only then we can think about mending the Judiciary.

SphereHead: It might take more than a decade and it is a too long a time.

Amit Shah: A nation that has stood for milliniea can withstand a decade.

SphereHead: But there is no guarantee that Modi will be back.

Amit Shah: It is not about Modi or other person. It is about the party that will fight for the cause.

SphereHead: LOL. You are getting too filmy and speaking like the oral judgments of our judiciary.

Amit Shah: The congress culture and judicial culture are interlinked and without removing or reducing the former, it is impossible to eliminate the latter. The death of congress culture is necessary to bring an overall change of public mindset starting from the cleanliness to respecting the general societal norms.

SphereHead: Can this not be speeded up because many Hindus are feeling suffocated.

Amit Shah: You have to give time to the events to playout. Hindus have themselves proudly voted for Congress without thinking much about the future. Only when the alternative presented that they have hooked onto it and are now demanding too many things at too much pace.

SphereHead: Is it wrong to have such sky high expectations.

Amit Shah: It is not wrong but it is also not right to be blind to reality. There are several issues with our own people and we are trying to change bit by bit. It is necessary to get 2019 elections else, all the pain suffered in this 5 years would be waste.

SphereHead: I agree to this because the Congress harvested the fruits of your efforts the last time and made a total mess out of this nation with no clue how to improve the average life of the citizen. It only believed in paper based rights.

Amit Shah: Hopefully more people realize this and I ask people to read the Congress manifesto.

SphereHead: Unfortunately I have gone through it and it has too many rights and one wonders who provides all those rights and who bears the cost of the additional rights when the right to equality is shred to secular pieces.

Amit Shah: I have to leave and I thought that you were a bigot like others of secular kind.

SphereHead: No I am a Bhakth.

Amit Shah: (Teary eyed) Jai hind

With his eyes full of tears, Amit Shah left my imagination and I wondered why he had tears. I then realized that in the incestuous club of prestitutes he found a rare imaginary person who did not ask the same old questions. I wanted to ask more questions but the drama of mamta and pooralis of TN seemed to have caught his attention. Hopefully there are more important things to be taken care of. I will meet Amit Shash again.

Picture Credit: Amit Shah (Twitter)

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About Vijendra Bhat 127 Articles
Currently working as an Assistant Professor in an Engineering College in Udupi district, Karnataka. Earlier Worked in Steel Foundry Industry for 6 years. Interested in the politics and revival of Bharat.
Contact: Twitter