May 24, 2019

SphereHead with VisaMata

The controversy does not seem to end and with thoughts of 2019 elections were running in my mind. I closed my eyes to have an imaginary Darshan of VisaMata sending tweets in fury. For a moment I got scared of her furious image but upon closer look, I realized that she is much more humane than l thought. I decided to wait until she stopped her activity and throw her kind glances on me so that I could ask a few questions and use this chance Darshan. After waiting for several hours I got irritated but I got reminded of a wise sage who told all of humanity to trust the leader and hence I decided to do the same. Several days passed but VisaMata never stopped working and seemed to be in a race with The Modi in dedication towards her work. I felt embarrassed for having to wait for her kind glances and did not want to disturb the dutiful VisaMata. I was about to leave and my phone buzzed. I checked it; I was surprised to see a DM from VisaMata.

VisaMata sent me a DM and it ordered to me a tweet to her seeking her attention. I followed her orders and I tweeted her requesting for her kind urgent secular attention. All of a sudden she stopped her activity and showered me with her kind glances and I felt blessed. I felt stupid that I had to wait for such a long time and never thought of doing this Out-of-the-Box thinking. The stupid education system, the blessing of the age-old governments had rendered me with uncommon sense. VisaMata was smiling and asked me to have a seat and I walked nervously and sat in the chair. My phone buzzed again and there was a DM asking me to tweet the generosity of the VisaMata without fail or else the meet would stop. The next DM mentioned that she might like some of my tweets just in case I deviate from her orders and the next message asked me to remove all the records of DMs. With live tweeting of our talk the brief imaginary meeting progressed as below:

SphereHead: Why do you prefer to tweet to get the work done instead of setting the systems in place?

VisaMata: You can ask the hundreds of people who have received emergency help from our office and only then you will realize the importance of tweets that we send. The systems will take time to form and it is a more difficult process. Things change rather slowly.

SphereHead: Agreed, but what about the thousands whose emergencies you have not considered?

VisaMata: It is not possible to help every individual because our department is not God and we help to those who we feel require it the most. The rest of the people are just unlucky.

SphereHead: So, in principle, you are following the lottery system.

VisaMata: People can decide on our work and our office is not bothered.

SphereHead: Why do you talk in third person?

VisaMata: It has become a habit and I believe that not everyone’s problems can be addressed by the government. Hence we have to formulate a system where the good work of the government is spread to most of the people and make people feel that their government cares for everyone.

SphereHead: Why help the enemies of our nation?

VisaMata: There is no public declaration of enemies of the nation and hence I have decided to help any individual in foreign lands because I am allotted such work. I cannot work for the people who are inside of India because it is out of my area of concern. I am doing what I was supposed to do to the best of my abilities.

SphereHead: Being a very senior member of the party, does it not bother you that people are coming into our country who are abusive to our traditions? There is no stoppage of the abusive people and there seem to be no efforts regarding the same.

VisaMata: This is a matter of government policy and not my office alone and hence I alone cannot be made responsible.

SphereHead: Coming to your official work, you have broken several levels of the system to give some document to a woman who had too much-falsified data. Why has your office felt such an urgent need to intervene?

VisaMata: Being a woman I know how abusive the Indian Hindu Males can be and hence I decided to help the victim so that she feels safe and proud of our nation.

SphereHead: You sound DButtIsh. One official doing his duty cannot be called abusive. How can an official be transferred without first ascertaining facts? Whether the app that was later on released was in the plans or it was released on whims and fancies of you?

VisaMata: I think that I might have to like your tweet.

SphereHead: LoL. I am a citizen of India and most likely I might never need the work of your office in the near future and hence I might not bother if you like my tweet or not but the question remains which you have not yet answered.

VisaMata: You think that you might not need work from our office but our officials have controls in every arm of government.  My liking a tweet is a kind of signal.

SphereHead: Are you threatening a citizen of this country? You seem to be following the principles of threatening citizens, naming citizens and using lottery systems.

VisaMata: I am only concerned about individuals in distress and nobody can stop me from delivering justice. I want to ensure that my office works to help anyone in distress.

SphereHead: Even if it means bypassing some important rules?

VisaMata: You seem to be on a mission to be critical of my work without giving credit to the work I have accomplished.

SphereHead: The good work is the mandatory requirement of any BJP government but it is not so of secular governments. If we want a cheap quality work, we have many secular governments for that. So breaking or bypassing rules for the sake of individual is considered acceptable by your esteemed office?

VisaMata: Extraordinary situations demand extraordinary solutions and in the fight against male abuse every concerned woman should lend their support.

SphereHead: So you are acting like a Feminist but this aggressiveness was not visible when some of your colleagues were abused and mocked in public.

VisaMata: You seem to be trying to put words into my mouth and expecting a particular answer from me and it is never going to happen because I am a very seasoned politician. I have survived too many things and yet I am one of the most powerful ministers in this government. I have managed things.

SphereHead: We know your management skills. You have let the congress run roughshod on the lives of the majority of the citizens of this nation by supporting the most bigoted and discriminatory bills. You have been too cozy with the parties that have vowed to destroy the nation as we know it.

VisaMata: Regarding the party, the President shall speak but I have always followed the principles of the party and it is the reason I am in one of the top spots. Who knows, I might be in the top spot one day….

SphereHead: What???

VisaMata: What, What?

SphereHead: You want to be in the top spot?

VisaMata: What top spot?

SphereHead: You just said…

VisaMata: Do not twist my words and I have a lot of tweets to be replied and liked. I hope you understand the seriousness of my work. There might not be any next time and in case there is be prepared with a better agenda and better questions. I found that you forgot to tweet the interview and it is also for my own good. Ok, in case you want some work done, tweet and wait for the lottery system to pick up your request.

Saying those words, VisaMata started to tweet furiously to those needy people from all over the world. She was working doubly hard to compensate for the time wasted with my interview. I did not get the much-needed clarification and as I was thinking what to do next, my phone buzzed and I checked to find that I received a message. When I checked it asked me to Promote VisaMata for PM. I ROFLed and fell down with a bang on my head. I opened my eyes to realize that I had a bump on my head from the fall.

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About Vijendra Bhat 141 Articles
Currently working as an Assistant Professor in an Engineering College in Udupi district, Karnataka. Earlier Worked in Steel Foundry Industry for 6 years. Interested in the politics and revival of Bharat.
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